Yet another upset..

I'm sorry I post good news, then forget to post the bad. Part of me just is in denial while the other part of me is just ashamed. It's been 8 weeks 2 days since I naturally miscarried my second set of twins on 9/12/2011. The extremely hard part for me was that 9/13/2011 was the due date for the original pregnancy and I miscarried the day before that. Talk about a rough week. :'( But.. Now.. I'm back in the same mode as last time. I'm just focusing on getting myself healthy and being ready to find out why I keep miscarrying babies. This last pregnancy, the dr never had any concerns of miscarriage. He was more concerned about going into labor early and my sugar being high then anything. The dreaded "M" word was never spoken. I went to my second ultrasound appointment and found out that Baby B had stopped growing after 7 weeks 2 days, and 2 weeks later found out we lost baby A after 8 weeks 5 days.. :( It's been such a heart breaking experience. There was a lot of friends I was pregnant with and that included my neighbor 2 doors down who was just 3 weeks behind me.. :( We spoke about play dates, and just being so excited for one another! I hit rock bottom with this miscarriage. Mostly because it came totally unexpected. I still have my moments where I cry. It was hard seeing friends I was pregnant with post that they found out what they were having, first time feeling baby move, etc. It's getting a little easier for me now.. But still hurts. Baby showers are really hard. Especially when my 3 year old little sister asks, "Tara, where are your babies?" :'( I just wanted to crawl in a corner and just hide. But.. In time i will be a mommy to some little angel. This child or these children will have so much love it's going to be unbelievable! He/She/They will have so many aunts/uncles/cousins/Grandparents looking forward to their arrival :) It makes me teary eyed just thinking about the love I can't wait to give my child and I know my family and selected family *close friends* can't wait to give them :) Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we go through this process all over again. I need to pray for myself that I can go through this stress free. Having 2 previous major losses, it makes me nervous that there may be a 3rd. I just need to calm myself, and stop worrying about it, but it's very much easier said then done.